The Relationship That Saved Me

What happens when the life you know falls apart?

In this episode of It’s a Surreal Life, Savannah Taube shares her journey through religious control, addiction, grief, loss, self destruction, and the long road back to herself.

Raised within the strict structure of the Jehovah’s Witness faith, Savannah found herself navigating life beyond the only world she had ever known while simultaneously carrying the weight of addiction, loss, and disconnection.

What followed was years of survival.

• Years of searching.
• Years of creating a life that mirrored the pain she was carrying.

But somewhere in the middle of the unraveling, something changed.

This conversation is not about perfection or arriving at some final destination.

It is about:

• recovery.
• Responsibility.
• Resilience.
• And discovering that the relationship capable of carrying you through the darkest seasons of life may be the relationship you build with yourself.

Together, Savannah and Sirel explore identity, grief, addiction, self trust, and what becomes possible when we stop looking outside ourselves for the thing we have been searching for all along.

Because sometimes healing begins the moment we stop abandoning ourselves.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Welcome to It's a Soral Life. And today we have Savannah Tobby, who has become a dear friend of mine. And it's crazy to even think about that I only have only known you for almost three months now. Just two?

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Is it just two? Looked back at the sisterhood we met on April 13th in real life.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

In real life. Wow. Wow. And so I think this is absolutely beautiful because the intentional time that we had even in that moment was like 12 minutes. And then it was over until we connected again. And so Savannah has a story. And it's a beautiful story because it's a story of life. And I think that this is the true meaning of living. And I think we like to glorify success. But I think it's time we switch the script. And we we bring praise and support for the life that that brought you to success, right? Because then it seems so far, far out of reach for people. If all they are celebrating is the successful part. So I'm really excited to hear your story and to hold space for you. Thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

You're so welcome. So do you want to share a little bit about yourself and just where who or just who you are in the present moment? So don't give too much away yet, but just like a little introduction.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Well, I currently am the owner-founder of Vital Path Wellness, which is a health and wellness company. My life has converged in all of the hardships and all of the health issues I've had to culminate this passion to help others. So this is the vessel that I have created to allow myself to serve alchemize all the hardships and all the challenges into love and support for others.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

I love that so much. Thank you for sharing. I have chicken pimples. Whoa, I can feel that.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Okay. Well, we are going to take it back, sister. And you get to choose how far back you want to go.

SPEAKER_02 3:05

Yeah, I mean, it's it's gonna be the teenage years. It really is. So I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness. And for those not familiar with that, it is a pretty strict religion, very closed off. It actually has terminology. If you're not in as a Jehovah's Witness, which they call the truth, then you were worldly. And that was not meant as a compliment. So I was raised in a belief system of very black and white. And it also excluded anything outside of the religion. So I know you always talk about how we're not prepared to be human. This religion will leave you not prepared for anything.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

I believe that.

SPEAKER_02 3:54

So at 15 years old, I was disfellowshipped. At 15, I already had a very strong sense of not being able to lie and not feeling good when I wasn't being my authentic self. I didn't know that's what it was at the time. But that is a hundred percent what it was. So once I had gone from obeying all the rules and being the ideal child, straight A's, never got in trouble, didn't cuss, didn't watch R-rated movies, to having an older brother and older sister who stepped out and brought baby sister along with them. And shit got real, real quick.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:44

There's the world right there. And you're like, what?

SPEAKER_02 4:47

With no protection. No protection. No protection. So very quickly I went into making adult choices as a child, as a 15-year-old. But it only took me about six months of living that lifestyle. I don't even think it was six months. That I told my parents and said I needed to talk to the elders of the congregation. And I sat there stone cold and just laid out my sins. And the first time they did what's called a public reproval. So in front of the whole congregation, they announced that I was publicly reproved. And it puts a black mark on you. Literally. But you came back? That was I wasn't kicked out yet. So this was the process. Okay. So they were basically giving me another chance to straighten up. But at the same time, they tell everyone and they put this black mark on you to where everyone turns their back on you.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Wow. Okay. So how do people know that you have the black mark?

SPEAKER_02 5:53

They literally say it. They announce it. It like literally to the whole congregation. Savannah Tabby has been publicly reproved. They announce it. So, like, and I mean there's like an audible gasp through the whole, right? She's a sinner. And, you know, obviously without support or anything else, what did I do? I went deep, I doubled down on the not great people that I now was hanging out with. And it wasn't but a few months later that I went back and said, Not only am I still doing the things that I said I was doing, now I'm doing this, this, and this. And like full, full of ego to tell them. And they said, You're just fellowshipped. And my mother was sitting next to me and just absolutely lost it. You would have thought I died. Like wailed. You would have thought I died.

SPEAKER_01 6:45

Wow. So can you imagine though? Like, you're just a kid and you're being told how horrible of a person you are. Essentially.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Literally being thrown out of God's grace because I was honest about wrongdoings.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

My own grandparents stopped talking to me. I mean, you literally are a pariah.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

So that, I mean, that was that. Everyone I'd ever known, everyone that I was ever allowed to associate with in one day cut me off.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

And you're still 15. Yes. That all happened within about nine months. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Mm-hmm. Okay. So I have this older brother and sister. And so we just, I mean, we completely went off the deep end with each other and parties and drinking and drugs and sex and everything you could imagine. And yeah, shit got real real quick.

SPEAKER_01 8:06

Yeah. Yeah. So I'm curious because you you think about this. I mean, you go from like super religious spirit, you know, the teeter-totter to like not just worldly, but like, you know, the way that I see it, just because I am where I'm at in my life, is I just see that there was so much pain, so much hurt, so much loss that whatever you could get to do to not have to feel that anymore, that's what was gonna happen. And so, like, that was the path.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Mm-hmm. I was yeah, there was no teaching of how to self-soothe. There was no teaching of being connected into your own thoughts. It was purely emotion over any logic. And then it became uh running from my own loss. Like the whole was within me, but I didn't realize that.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

But you didn't realize it. But you also, it's not like you grew up in a way where you even knew about the actual world, the real world out there. Not at uh I connect with that so much.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

So not that long later, I'm sure everyone remembers this, was 2001.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

So I got disfellowshipped in 2000. 2001, 4th of July. My older sister decided to go to a work party, and she met someone, and they went off in her car to fool around, and then he decided they needed to go to another party. And we still can't prove who was driving, but a car accident happened and she passed away. He was in a coma for three days. I tracked him down, didn't know him from Adam. Tracked him down, showed up to his house after he got home from the hospital and said, Were you driving? And he said, No. And then literally he moved and disappeared off the face of the planet.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

So they both were ejected.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

So that happened literally within I think September of 2000s when I got to schellowship. And then this happened 4th of July 2001.

SPEAKER_04 10:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

And I got, I was, I was already, I'd already moved out at 16, was living with a boyfriend in a party house with a bunch of friends. And I got a phone call in the middle of the night. So that was the start, really, of my whole entire family imploding.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Mm-hmm. There was that's a grief you don't have, you can't ever prepare for.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

And there was just no, my parents were still Jehovah's Witnesses. So let me give you a little more of that. Jehovah's Witnesses believe that people are going to be resurrected. So because my sister passed away, even though she was doing all the things I was doing, she wasn't disfellowshipped. She was still protected. So they just all looked at me like, well, if you come back into the truth, if you become a Jehovah's Witness again, you'll see your sister when she's resurrected. That's what I was told the day of the funeral. And by the look on your face, I can tell how absolutely insane it sounds. I can't even like when I say it out loud, it's hard for me to even understand like how that will really like land with someone because I've had to come to terms with it for so long. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

So you went back?

unknown 12:08

No.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

No? Okay. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

I thought you were gonna say, like, but there's the other, there's the the next layer of guilt, right? Yeah. Yeah guilt and shame. Like, and then you're you're literally gonna hold this over my head to come back to this religion with the crazy idea that I can see my sister again.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Your body knew. You're like, fuck no.

SPEAKER_02 12:31

It was insane. It was insane to me. I literally screamed at my grandfather so badly, they packed up and went back. They lived out of state. They were gonna stay like another three days. They left immediately.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

What?

SPEAKER_02 12:46

I I had that much of a reaction. I think I screamed at him.

SPEAKER_03 12:51

Are you fucking kidding me? 16 years old. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Good for you.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Seriously, good for you. I mean, like, I get it. You know, you have your elders, we're taught to like respect them and all those things. But also, like, get real.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

They still believe it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

They still believe it. 25, uh, yeah, 20 20, yeah, it's been 25 years. 25 years later. Yeah, so things just kept getting layered and layered. Uh within that was July. So then September is when the 9-11 attack happened. And my brother and I were already off the deep end. There was no grief counseling. There was no support. There was not that we were just, I mean, we were, we were off the deep end. I don't think either of us spent a day sober. And I mean, we we gave zero, zero shits. Like on the front porch in a small town smoking a bong. Don't care if a cop drives by. Like, just did not care about anything. And so we hatched this master plan with a couple friends and the guy I was dating at the time. And we took off in a stolen vehicle. And we made it most of the way through Kansas before my boyfriend robbed a gas station. And I was driving, and he got us in a high-speed chase. This sounds crazy. God, I haven't thought about this in a long time.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Like, this is uh real life cops right here.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

14 cop cars. Oh, wow. Like full high-speed chase. They put down the tire spikes. My dodged them. We ended up wrecking, getting out and running, hiding in a cornfield, dogs after us, shotguns. I mean, straight like wow. Thank God I was only 17 and it was Kansas because I took the felony. Felony eluding. It's never on my record. You're still a juvenile at 17. The judge, I spent one weekend locked up, and then the judge heard my story of I just lost my sister in July. Before that, I was a straight Ace student my whole entire life. I had never done anything before that last year, even remotely close to what would be considered bad. And so they took pity on me. So I pretty much walked away from that unscathed and never got charged with the stolen vehicle. Wow. But I came back home and started dating someone. And before I knew it, I was pregnant. We'd already broken up. He was absolutely horrible. He was abusive. And before I even knew I was pregnant, we'd already stopped seeing each other. And then I found out I was pregnant. So his parents decided I needed to move in. So they redid the basement and I moved in with an abusive, terrible human being. And I made it through eight months of pregnancy. And then I got out and went back to my parents, and they let me live there for two years. So I was pregnant at 17 and I turned 18 four months before I had my son.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 16:34

So I'm a teen mom with a ton of unhealed trauma. I am emotionally stunted. I have no idea what I'm doing in life. But when I had that baby, I stayed up, I think, for almost two days straight. I couldn't even sleep. I didn't even hardly let him take him out of the room. I just held him and it went really well. Like I immediately, like that motherhood gene, snap into place at 18. And I was working and I had childcare figured out, and my parents were letting me stay there, and I was doing everything right.

SPEAKER_03 17:13

And then I started dating someone else.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

And that's that was my, that was my, I think because of the hole, the void I was always trying to fill. And then having a baby by someone that I couldn't have a relationship with made the drive to be in a relationship even that much greater. And when you have unhealed trauma, you do not attract top quality individuals. So when my son was about a year and a half, not even, I don't even think he was a year yet.

SPEAKER_03 18:01

And uh meeting not so great people.

SPEAKER_02 18:08

And that's when drugs really got introduced. I mean, I dabbled a little bit, but nothing like what happened at 19. 19, I started getting introduced to hard harder drugs, and everything was readily available and given to me free. So that opened a whole nother chapter.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

So I'm curious, like, here's the introduction of drugs. What what did that feel like for you? Do you remember?

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Again, it was always so intrinsically woven with the person. So I mean, I dabbled a little bit, but specifically at 19, a guy named Jeff came into my life, and very flush because of what he did for a living. And he sure looked at me as I was a treasure to have. And he would give me anything I wanted. And I didn't know the difference. I I had feelings for him. And everything was just interwoven. There was no, like, I had no idea how to operate in the world, let alone be healthy or in a relationship, and yet I'm in all these extremely adult situations every day of my life.

SPEAKER_03 19:34

And then going home and taking care of a baby. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:43

And no matter what behavior I exuded, my parents kept their head in the sand. They would just bury their heads and just act like nothing.

SPEAKER_03 19:54

They didn't want to know. But they knew.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

I mean, there was a lot of, I think my mother just very, very naive. I mean, she was Jehovah's Witness, so she graduated high school and had never moved out on her own, and literally married my father, and then moved in with my father, and then became a wife and a mom. And then she finally started working when I was like in kindergarten. So there was no life experience there to then pass on to her children. Absolutely not. So I think that there was some stuff that possibly my dad suspected, but did they really know? No. There's no way for them to relate to most of what I've been through. So that opened opened a door that went really hard really quickly to the point where I looked at myself one day and was like, I can't do this. I looked like death. And so that was the first time that I just up and quit something cold turkey. So I'll go ahead. I it was meth. He was a meth dealer, and I was on it for only six weeks and had already gone down to a size zero. Again, it was readily available, top of the the like availability of like strength. And this is the kind of stuff that probably was like making people OD.

SPEAKER_03 21:38

Wow. And they were like, here you go. You're like, thank you. No, no, no idea. No idea. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yeah. Well, and it was just another, you know, something that allowed you to mask it all. Escape. Always. Yeah. Like it at the end of the day, like it gave you what I would call as strength. You were outsourcing your your energy line, right? So without the meth or without the the other substances, right? Then you have to you actually have to feel. You actually have to stay. You actually have to be one with your own. Own energy.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

So, and there were days, there's definitely like, I mean, it's been in my field, and I have different memories from even as very, very, very young, where I always knew down deep how powerful my energy was with the traumas that happened. It became not something to be feared, but I just had no idea how to wield it. So I lived the most split soul life for so long. I'm fast forwarding big time, but but the six years ago, the the phrase that snapped me out of all of this, the final key piece was a counselor telling me your religion killed your spirituality. But that's what had happened at 15. So I was never able to fully acclimate spirit, energy, source, whatever it's somebody wants to term. There's so many different ways you could say it within my body and my mind.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Because no matter what, you had already created a relationship against that.

SPEAKER_02 23:51

Because my mind told me that my spirituality was religion, specifically organized religion. That key phrase became such a hot button for me for so long. And if anybody came to me and said, Well, what about Jesus will take you back? I mean, I would just fly off the handle. I would lose my mind. Wow. And I didn't know, I did not know until just six years ago that that's when it got imprinted in my brain like that. That's what happened.

SPEAKER_03 24:28

So I just kept trying to survive.

SPEAKER_02 24:33

I ended up in a relationship with a guy that was my brother's best friend. I'd known him for, I don't even, since I was nine. And he's actually the one that introduced me to my father's, my son's father. We all used to hang out together. But we started seeing each other. And at 21 years old, I got pregnant again. And it was a very traumatic way of finding out I was pregnant. It was my 21st birthday. And me and her father went out and we went to the club I used to work at. And we both got really fucked up. And he disappeared, and I could not find him, which made me very angry. And so I basically was going to leave without him. And I get in my car to drive, and then he just opens the door and gets in the car, magically appears. And instead of dealing with anything right there, I drove away as I was having a complete meltdown and drunk yelling at him in the car. So needless to say, that is not very safe driving conditions. And about 10 minutes later, I lost control of the car. I was ejected 30 feet. Came to on the side of the road, face down, mouthful of gravel. I stood up and walked back to my car. My arm was covered in blood. I'm scraping dirt and gravel out of my mouth. He finds me. He's on the like he's climbing out of the driver's side because the car was so messed up he couldn't get out his door. And he ripped his shirt and like started to tie my arm up. And uh then the police, the ambulance came and took me to the hospital.

SPEAKER_03 26:43

And I found out at the hospital I was pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

The last piece of glass from my arm just came out of my arm in April of this year. A piece of automotive glass has stayed in that bicep for 20 years and just worked its way out a few months ago.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

Got up and walked away.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Well, I feel like that was talk about being able to see your sister again. Like, I feel like, I don't know, maybe your sister was protecting you that day. I have no idea. But 30 feet back to your car.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Even with the high-speed chase, we rolled twice.

unknown 27:30

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 27:31

But I had my seatbelt on and I got out and ran. When I saw that vehicle a few days later, the only part that was caved in was right by me. And literally I was in such a, you know, like get out of the car and running from cops. I did not realize that that was caved in to within a few inches of my head. Wow. Came out without a scratch. I honestly, thinking back on things for a long time now, think that I subconsciously was trying to die in a car wreck after I lost my sister. I've been in about 20 car accidents. And I think subconsciously, it was pulling me because I didn't want to live without her. I didn't deal with the grief. I never got to mourn her the way I should have at the beginning when we first lost her. And I do truly believe that subconsciously, that is what I was trying to do to myself. There's another one that the homeowners thought I was dead. So they didn't ever try to get damages. This one, how deep do we want to go on this? As deep as you want to go, sister. So I just I was gonna tell you this anyway. I just saw someone last week at the grocery store. And uh, she was a bartender at a bar that I used to work at. We had a few regulars there that worked for the police department. One of them specifically had his eye on me. He was married with four children. There was a night where I was not working, but I was up there drinking, and he was up there drinking. And this girl that I just saw last weekend was the bartender. I obviously, when you work at a bar and you're there on your day off, you get served as much as you possibly can drink. And that's what happened. So then when I went to leave, she sent this gentleman out after me to basically take my keys.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Instead, he essayed me and still let me drive away.

SPEAKER_02 29:59

I was partially blacked out, and when I came to and realized what was happening, I intentionally wrecked my car on the way home. I hit a curb, I popped the curb to try to hit a light pole. I missed the light pole, took out three fences, and then hit a tree.

SPEAKER_03 30:19

I walked away. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

I walked away. I actually woke up in jail not understanding why my leg hurt so bad. The cops tried to take me to the hospital and I lost my mind. Obviously, because a cop just essayed me. And then all these cops were trying to like touch me and like get me it, you know, and I was like a wild animal.

SPEAKER_01 30:46

Yeah. Your body was trying to protect you. Like whether you were fully there, right? Your body was still body was dealing with all of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:58

Yeah. So I woke up in jail with my leg hurting so bad. And like, I wake up and no one's around. And I'm like, start yelling for somebody, and they walk over to me and they were just like, What the fuck do you want? And I'm like, what? I don't know why I'm here. And they're like trying to fight like six cops for trying to put you in an ambulance. Like, doctors were you were acting so crazy. The doctors refused to even take you at the ER. So we just brought you here. And I'm like, okay. It took me a long time to remember what happened that night. Like years. Wow. I did not know what happened for a long time. So everybody thought I died that night. Because the car literally was where the hood should be. It at least halfway. And there were three fence posts sticking out of the car. And the girl that served me, I saw last weekend at the sport.

SPEAKER_01 31:57

So the glass comes out. Now, next is you see this girl. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:03

She looks terrible. She's obviously been doing hard drugs for years.

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

And she apparently follows me on socials because she was like, you look so beautiful as always. Like, no, like, hey, sorry I didn't check on you. Thought you died. Like, glad you're alive. Like. So wow.

SPEAKER_03 32:26

It was I just like. I wonder if she just she felt responsible. You know.

SPEAKER_02 32:38

A lot of people from my past are either sober like me and have completely revamped their life, or they're already under the ground.

SPEAKER_03 32:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

There was no in-between. I mean, this was a very intense party life for a very long time.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

So, I mean, my 20s in and out. I had decent jobs. I tried to really make something of myself in the restaurant world. I learned a lot. I was always two or three jobs as a single mom without any real support from either father. You know, it just, I did the best I could with what I had.

SPEAKER_04 33:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

I did. But eventually that was not enough. And in my 30s, early 30s, I really started to get in with cocaine. Alcohol wasn't enough anymore. So even if I worked all day, paid all the bills, made sure everything was okay as soon as the kids were asleep. I might drink even by myself till the sun came up. I mean, it was like drinking till passing out, till blacking out on a regular basis. I could not be by myself. I could not sit with myself. The demons were getting bigger.

SPEAKER_03 34:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:04

Mm-hmm. And so, yeah, I mean, then I found a whole new crew. And they all were so fun and lively, and we're out listening to live music. And now I'm back, you know, just throwing my kids at my parents to be able to get away.

SPEAKER_03 34:26

You know, tell my parents I'd be back at midnight, I'd show up at six o'clock in the morning. My 30s, it got real ugly. Well, still, think about it.

SPEAKER_02 34:42

You still have yet to just feel that was not part of the equation for me.

SPEAKER_01 34:51

That was not part of the equation to just feel and just be. I mean, you like you said, you couldn't even be with yourself.

SPEAKER_02 35:01

Running with from, and it's interesting when you are literally doing everything you can to almost claw out of something, and lo and behold, it's inside you. So one thing led to another, and I continued to drive in these kind of states, and the universe was like, all right, we gotta start sitting her down. So I ended up with two times with the same police officer. This poor man. I'm feisty. This is why I don't drink anymore. I'm feisty. And the first time went to start putting the cuffs on me, and I started resisting. So I met the hood of a cop car.

SPEAKER_03 35:55

And they're like, there she is.

SPEAKER_02 35:56

She's she's alive. Yeah. And then literally six months later, the exact same guy. And this time he was not, I mean, they put like I was parked on the side of the road after he pulled me over. They still put tire spikes down in front of my car. And I refused to get out this time. I knew it was gonna happen. They broke out my window, they yanked me out. Like, I mean, it was it was ugly. And so the the first had not even nothing was even being done. I had it continued. So now I go back to my lawyer and I'm like, okay, well, it happened again. So between these two arrests, I had 10 tickets. And, you know, I greased the wheels, I pulled some money together, and I got really, really lucky. And my lawyer got everything thrown out except for one DUI and only a misdemeanor. But I had to do SATAP, which is a pretty intense, and there's levels one, two, three, and four. And they put me in level three. So this was just getting going in the legal system. And then this is like October, September, October of 2019. And so I was still working, working in the restaurant world, and I ended up waking up one day and could not use my left arm. The pain I would relate to childbirth. And it was really close to my neck and in my shoulder and going down my arm, and I had no idea what was going on. So I went and had an MRI done, and they said, you have two protruded discs so badly in your cervical discs, it's pushing into your spinal cord. If you were rear-ended when you leave here, you're going to die. Your spinal cord is going to be severed immediately. You need to go to the head of neurosurgery at KU, and you need to have a surgery where they will scrape out the cadaver bone or scrape out the discs, replace them with cadaver bone, steel plates in your neck, and screws. And I said, No. I'm not going to have that done. And I started researching what could be causing this to be worse and what could possibly help start to alleviate this in a more natural way. And the very first thing that came up across all my research was inflammatory food. Inflammation is making this worse. And so I started by cutting out fried food. That was all I did different. I was still drinking, still doing drugs, still all the other nonsense. But by God, we could have stood fried food. I was eating, I was, I stopped eating French fried. So, but I could tell within three weeks, within three weeks, I still had some relief. Wow. I'm like, okay, all right, there's something to this. And then about that time is when I had to start that counseling. Then COVID hit. So all the counseling was through Zoom. I was still at home. Now all the restaurants that I worked at had part-time jobs, all this all closed. So now I'm at home with two teenagers. One of is already using drugs. The other one was was and I didn't know. And now all I have is time. Yeah. And yourself. And looking at my children and reflecting back to me what my choices have done to my children. There was no escaping it. And then that counselor said that key phrase to me. So all of this happened in just the perfect sequence for what I needed. The health scare, the legal, and then that aha moment, as well as having time. Most people saw that COVID shutdown as such a horrible time of their lives. For me, I would not be alive had it not happened.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

It made me pause. Yeah, it forced the pause for you.

SPEAKER_02 40:10

It forced it. Because I was a freight train and I would have just kept barreling through.

SPEAKER_01 40:15

Wow. Mm-hmm. But look at how so many redirections kept coming back over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Until you were ready. About my sister's birthday that week, that year. Her birthday's March 2nd. And the COVID shutdown started on the March 17th. So I was laying in bed one night, and I had the most intense visualization. And I always thought of her as purple and me as blue, as like our auras, our energy colors. Like I didn't understand that terminology, but just like as a visual, very visual person. That's how I always saw me in her. And I'm laying in bed, and all of a sudden I see this beautiful purple orb and this beautiful blue orb. And it felt like it came out from the back of my neck where I had all these injuries. And then they went along the wall and looked like they were playing together. And it just, it felt like when that happened, 20 years of grief and anger went with it. That I had carried this for so long. And then that visualization happened and I felt released. I was just letting it happen. Again, I wasn't, I was, I was under the influence of many things at that time. I mean, I probably had split an eight ball of cocaine that day with somebody.

SPEAKER_03 42:09

Well.

SPEAKER_02 42:10

Because I didn't stop, there was no like step down.

SPEAKER_03 42:13

It was doing every day cold turkey.

SPEAKER_02 42:21

So all of these things, when somebody says, why'd you get sober? How'd you get sober? It was all of these pieces. There was nothing else. The universe gave me something in every single category that mattered. I was worried about my own life. I was worried about my children's future. I was worried about my finances. I was worried there was there was no other category that had not been touched.

SPEAKER_04 42:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Most people call that a rock bottom. I really don't feel like that was even my rock bottom. I feel like I'd had rock bottoms before, and I wasn't even really at rock bottom at the time. It was just everything sequentially happened exactly the way the dominoes needed to fall for me to finally have my aha moment.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

Yeah, I would agree. Cause I'm like, a lot of these stories are what would connect as rock bottom. You know, because even having a car crash, finding out you're pregnant, and surviving that, even in that time, right? It you still needed, well, at the end of the day, it was just disconnection. And it maybe that's what it was. Like having that counselor tell you that's what created you, that's what created the opportunity for you to feel back into your body.

SPEAKER_02 43:46

It removed, it removed that blockage. I think that when my sister passed away, and then I was immediately told I needed to come back into that religion so that I could see her. That piece right there just took my heart that was attached. Like I was connected before that day. And that just turned something black. And so I could I try, I thought, I think I didn't mentally know this, but what had happened physically was. I cut that side of me off.

SPEAKER_04 44:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:27

It just didn't exist. But it did.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

And it was always screaming to get out.

SPEAKER_04 44:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 44:36

So you quit cold turkey.

SPEAKER_01 44:41

So you literally quit from drinking until you were blue in the face from cocaine.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

Marijuana.

SPEAKER_01 44:50

Marijuana.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

And a pack of cigarettes a day.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

Wow. Do you know people die doing?

SPEAKER_02 44:56

So my dear friend did the same thing a year later. She's had heart failure since. She's only two years older than me, and her heart right now is working at 10. And she's already the first when she quit cold turkey, she had the worst DTs I've heard about in a long time. And then she had to wear the vest, even in the shower, for nine months that would restart for heart if it stopped. Wow. I I don't know of anyone else that would have survived going from what I was doing to cold turkey. And when people ask me how I did it, it sounds too simple to even, and I'm like, it's well, it had to have been brutal. That detox. Not at all.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

I didn't have any withdrawals. None. None. Well, that's interesting. Well, think about that because you were so committed. You built the relationship around, wow, I am never doing this again.

SPEAKER_02 45:56

Yes. I can remember that I can remember the exact shower I was taking when the thought was like, we're done. We're done. And I still had a vape pen for weed. So I quit drinking. That was done. And then I think I smoked cigarettes for maybe another week, kept smoking my vape pen and did blow again with a guy friend of mine, like once or twice more. So within 30 days, everything was done. I started drinking hot tea with so much honey. Like, seriously, I found I found a local farmer with honey. Don't tell me how my brain, like, I let my soul finally guide me through this. That's what happened. So I started this local honey. And I mean, like, I was going through a whole bottle a week. I'd drink hot tea all day. And then I would go to Baroque Woods and go on the nature trails. And I started running. I was running on these nature trails to the point where I can run them at night with no light. I know the paths so well. And a tree would speak to me and I would just hug it. And if I needed to cry, I would cry. I would listen to Mozart as loud as possible, running down a hill, feeling I it just it. My dad and I have talked about it. And when you people talk about timeline shift and quantum stuff, that's what fucking happened. I literally picked myself up from this timeline that I've been walking on and just went, nope, I'm not there anymore.

SPEAKER_03 47:31

Like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:37

That's beautiful. I've had one fender bender since a woman in a parking lot of the mall, like slammed on her brakes in front of me and I tapped her bumper. That's been it. No other car accidents.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

All of that's done. And your body is.

SPEAKER_01 47:54

I mean, now we can start the good stuff. That is so beautiful because that is a testament. Like that, it's just to op open the this, you know, this path that when people think about, you know, the people that are deep in it, right? And I know a few people and they've already committed, like, I this is just the way it's going to be for the rest of my life. Well, okay, you're right. You believe that, so that's true. But then you hear these stories like yours. I mean, your story is so beautiful because you made that amendment, that commitment, that non-negotiable with yourself. And it literally opened you up in a way where your body could now trust your words. And the, and then your life, your life just right there, just magically in front of you, just started expanding its horizon of like, here it is. It's all for you. That is so beautiful. So, like, I hope that this truly gives anyone, anyone that is going through any type of addiction. And it doesn't always have to be drugs. Like, you could be addicted to some things that are not serving your life.

SPEAKER_02 49:13

Food is a big one for a lot of people that's holding them hostage.

SPEAKER_01 49:17

Yeah. And like there, there is there is a way out of that. And if you're ready, that's all it takes. It just takes you looking in the mirror and making that commitment with yourself. Yeah. And grounding in nature because Earth holds you and supports you every fucking day of your life. Oh, that's so good. So here you are. After all those car accidents, after all that addiction, I mean shaking your hand today, right? I would have never, I would have never in a million years guessed that.

SPEAKER_02 50:01

I it's it's an interesting place to be. I have done a lot of work and even last year I had the most beautiful experience where my old self basically came to me as a visual, as a as a vision of she had her hands bound, she had duct tape over her mouth. And in that moment, I realized I'd never thanked the wild hot mess, cop fighting drug addict for surviving everything that she had been through. I mean, most people would not have survived everything that I have been through. And she did that so that I could be who I am today. And that didn't hit me till last year. And I cried and I hugged her and told her thank you and how much I loved her. And that was another release. That's when Vital Foundations was born, was right after that.

SPEAKER_01 51:15

That's so beautiful. You set that girl free.

SPEAKER_02 51:19

Yes. She you have to people don't understand. Like part of the growth, part of expansion, part of our journey is not becoming someone different. It's thanking all of your past versions as you are becoming your highest self. And if you do not thank them and love them, your inner child on, you're still not going to be where you want to be.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

Yeah. Yeah. It's like you're just adding layers of weight, essentially.

SPEAKER_01 51:59

And I truly believe that that is that is true. I think it's easy to sometimes look at our past versions, maybe the versions that weren't making the best choices. Maybe, you know, the ones that, you know, are if we were to tell anyone about it, that we would be frowned upon. I mean, look at the Jehovah's Witness, you know, you were you were shamed and ridiculed and kicked out and all those things. So of course, that's already like, okay, well, I guess I'm just a piece of shit then. But like full, full, like you're standing on top of the mountain. And the only reason why you are on top of the mountain is because you got yourself there through all the stumbles and the falls and the redirections and the failures, all of that. That was you. And you and you kept going.

SPEAKER_03 52:50

You kept frickin' going. You know, you'll hear people say when someone survives all of that, there obviously is a reason. And I did not fully understand what that meant until walking at myself. When life gets hard, you have two choices. You can learn from it and let it soften you, or you can resist it and it will harden you.

SPEAKER_02 53:33

Once I started actively making the choice that everything in life is a lesson, and the goal is experience, it has allowed me to literally alchemize all the pain, all the anger, all the grief, every negative emotion that I had to feel could then be morphed into capacity. There's no one, no one could come to me and say, I did this, and I would judge them. There's not a thing. There is such a level of empathy that I get to have because of everything that has happened in my past. I will hold space, I will have empathy, I can relate to you, and connection can happen because there's not really anything that anybody could go through that I haven't been through myself.

SPEAKER_03 54:39

Okay, men, sister.

SPEAKER_01 54:42

And so then it becomes revealed. It's like, wow, okay, this is my purpose. Absolutely. Now, does everybody have to go through that? Right? It's like that's the question. Does everyone have to go through that?

SPEAKER_02 54:57

That's why years and generations of generations, elders and wise men and women and Sean, all of these different people would pass down wisdom so that the next generation did not have to go through it to learn it. I think the more we get back to that place, we will see humanity just rise in a way that we never thought possible.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Well, and this is why I have a passion for bringing stories like this to life. Because I feel like this is the roadmap. This is the roadmap that I feel that I know I was looking for. Just the story that that would give me hope, that would give me just that extra strength and believing in myself.

SPEAKER_03 55:51

Yeah, I think this is beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 55:55

Okay, so we have Vital Foundations.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

That's the program. So my company is Vital Path Wellness. So even as soon as I got sober and got in a recovery, even in 2020, I actually started an LLC that year because I could already feel like the moment that I got clear-headed and got clarity, entrepreneurship immediately just blossomed. And food is so important to everything. It's one of my love languages. I've been in the restaurant world since I was 13 years old. And then learning how to heal my body through food, it took on a whole different importance. So my first concept, and I still own the LLC and I still have some of the logos. I'll have to send it to you sometime, was mama hens. And I still do feel very much as a mama hen, I do. I like to open my wings wide, and anybody that needs to come and get some protection, I'm here. But it was gonna be a food truck instead of farm to table, farm to truck. And I went and talked to local farmers and I already had things set up. And then it really dawned on me what kind of hourly increment that was going, what kind of commitment that was going to be. And again, I just got sober. So I went ahead and put that down and decided I needed to spend that time in repairing my relationship with my children and my father. So that's what the next couple of years was was repairing relationships. But the ambition was there. The calling was there, the passion was there. So I just kept learning. I kept learning and I started taking some business classes on this, like online and you know, learning about taxes and just different things, and just started investing in myself. I went to a different restaurant and made more money than I'd ever made in my life. I saved all the money that I would have spent on drinking and drugging that first year sober and went and bought myself an Audi. I just kept showing up. And the other, the smaller things though, I even one of my clients the other day, she was like, You never cancel, you're never late. And I'm like, Well, as an addict, I was the most unreliable shit ever. And so recovery, one of the things that I valued the most was I get to show up. I get to be reliable. People can count on me. They can know that whatever I say, I'm gonna follow through. And that I can feel my heart growing right now.

SPEAKER_04 58:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

That became such an amazing feeling. And even if I need to cancel, I'm gonna do it appropriately. I'm gonna give you, you know, there's not gonna, I don't blow anybody off. I don't ghost anybody. Like it just small things that people don't think about that much became so important to me. And my character started to really develop on top of me investing in my own self and knowledge. And so I ended up going to back to a company that I worked for years ago. He fired me in 2017 because I stopped showing up to work. And that's when I first started getting into the really bad stuff. And so we we'd stayed friends though. And so he hires me back. And now all of a sudden, I'm in a position to learn a much higher level of a company. And it's a whole different ballpark of experience. And about a year into that is when I was like, okay, if I can do this for this company, I'm ready to do this for myself. So September of 2024, I went ahead and filed my new LLC, which is Vital Path Wellness. Everything about that name sums up everything that I've been through, as well as like what I think is a culmination of what I offer now. We're talking about vitality.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

We're talking about thriving over surviving. We're talking about permission, not punishment, support, not restriction.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:16

Right? Right. And that's that's available. That's available to everybody. And it's free. It's free. You don't have to pay for it. You don't have to vote for it. You don't, it's not paying taxes on it, you know, it's readily available for you. And like that's the opportunity is that you get to choose. And I do feel feel right now in our America, the driving force, the authority is survival. And you see it everywhere. And it's not just in, you know, surviving as like, you know, a roof over your head and being able to put gas in your car, but it's surviving through your health. I mean, we have the sickest people out of all countries. 85% of America, Americans are overweight or obese. Like that's an epidemic. Why? Why is that when we have earth readily available to us? You know, and that's sad. That's so sad to think about. And so when you put that perspective out there, it does, it all comes down to choice. And you're you're choosing those those paths for yourself. And not to shame anyone. It's more of just like, here's a lens. Here's a lens to put on so maybe you can see a little clearly so that you can be held a little bit, you know, more, you know, take some of that weight off of you. So I just I love your vision. I love your passion, and I love how how you want to serve the community because you're not trying to fix anybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

Everyone has everything they need already within themselves. Yeah. It's so beautiful. But I do believe, so my absolute like it end all, be all what I live by is nourish your body, empower your life. We only have one body. Even if someone believes in reincarnation in many lives, at that one point, you have one body. This is our vessel for this amazing energy, right? We need to care for it appropriately. And when it is supported the way that it is intended to be supported, the amount of healing that can happen naturally. Our bodies are always trying to make us better. Our cells are regenerating. Our body's always trying to give us energy. The processes are all there. But when we give it the wrong inputs, we get a subpar result. That is not our body's fault. We're consciously choosing what to feed ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:02

Yeah. Well, and think about it. I feel like sometimes we take better care, you know, of our air filters, of our our car's gas and oil and things of that nature, right? Because we don't want to screw it up. We just paid thousands, we're paying thousands of dollars for this. That that's a tangible thing. But for some reason, when it comes to our body, the body that is supporting us, like, think about that. Your body has never ever abandoned you. Ever.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:33

It's the disconnect. Disconnect. It's one of the biggest ones. Yeah. So many Americans have been disconnected from their food, right? They don't get any of their own food anymore. And they've been disconnected from nature. How many people live inside? You've got people indoors 90% of the time now. 90% of the time you're indoors. And the other statistic, on top of the obesity, 93% of Americans have metabolic dysfunction. Those are very similar statistics. Sunlight is healing and free. Trees remove negative energy and help boost your natural cancer-fighting cells by up to 50%.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:21

Free. Clean air.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:24

It's debatable now. Clean. Fresh air. Fresh air. Breath. How healing is breath. Yeah, the the most beneficial things are absolutely there for the taking.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:39

Yeah. So you say people are inside. So I and I love this so much because, you know, it brings me back to like the relationship that people have with time. And but that still goes back to the core of survival. Right. So when you're in a life and you're outsourcing and you're chasing and you're hustling, well, of course you're gonna think, well, I don't have time for that. I don't I don't have time to to go out in nature like I'm tired. But you do have time to sometimes go to the liquor store. I mean, there's a liquor store on every freaking corner. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

Now drive-through.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:15

You don't even have to get out of your car. Now drive-through. I mean, that stuff can even be delivered. It's so crazy. So, like, yeah, it's broken. And then you think, well, why? Like, just because it's legal doesn't mean it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:32

I had a conversation with a couple people of how our history gets erased so quickly. So when alcohol was just what it was as medicinal or it didn't start, some of it was medicinal, but I mean, it was labeled with a crossbones on it. If anybody saw anything in their cabinet now that had a crossbones on it, they would know that that's toxic and poison. Poison. Yeah. Correct. The label changed. Being a bartender for as long as I was, one of the stories I used to tell people was the the origin of gin and tonic. Gin started being prescribed by doctors for cough. But gin by itself is so harsh that people would mix quinine water, then that turned into tonic. That's how gin and tonic came about. So people could take the medicine prescribed by the doctor.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:25

Gin as cough syrup. As cough syrup. Yep. That's what's that's how it works.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:33

And it no longer had a crossbones on the label.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:36

Yeah, all of a sudden it's it's all safe for you. It's a neurotoxin. It's an ecosystem that feeds so many different outlets. You know, think about it. How much money did you I mean, you buy alcohol, right? So then what does that do? That's an ecosystem towards health. So now you're giving money to the health system. And then maybe you're getting in trouble because you can't control yourself. So now the the government or whatever is still profiting off of you.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:12

Oh yeah. Oh, I definitely had to pay a lot of money for that counseling and everything else that was called. Yeah, top. Yeah. So much money. You know, the other thing that with alcohol, it never used to be called out, it was called spirits.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

Wine and spirits. Why do you think it's called spirits?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:31

Well, yeah, it disconnects you 100%. Or there was also stories for a long time of it opens you and allows evil spirits and whatever is in the mix to enter you because you don't have control of yourself underneath the influence of spirit. And so there's a lot of history, there's a lot of wisdom that has been erased from our history so that we can be confused now. And when you start peeling these layers back and you go back to older, wiser information that's still somewhat available, the pieces come together, the dot the dots are connected very quickly.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:18

Very quickly.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:19

Very quickly. And I will attest to that. I definitely had nights where I was open and ready, and I think other things definitely overtook me.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:32

Yeah. I believe that.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:36

Yeah. I believe that because I know there were many times where well, and that's so funny because there were times where I would lose I would be angry. Just angry, and I couldn't control myself. And that was so out of character for me. And it only happened if I had had too much to drink.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:00

Wow. Well, I'm so thankful to know you, Savannah.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:06

Thank you. I'm so the way that we got put in each other's fields is just, I mean, it's to anyone else, it would seem so random. But of course, me and you are like, well, that obviously happened into very intentionally. Thank you, universe.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:20

Thank you. And we're so connected to, you know, we have a relationship with our life that we're we're able to connect it in that way, you know? And I think that is like the most beautiful gift to receive that from a connection for someone to just understand that. And then it grows. It's grown so beautifully already.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:42

Exponentially.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:43

Exponentially. I know. And so I'm excited to continue our growth and relationship and friendship and business and expansion, our own personal growth together, you know?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:58

Absolutely. It's good.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:00

And I'm so fucking proud of you.

unknown 1:10:04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:05

Yeah. Anyone listening, if you ever thought I can't do this or it's impossible, you better re-rewind and listen again. Because that's a choice. That's a choice that you're creating for yourself. And why would you want to do that? Right.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:23

And it it it starts with small choices, you know, it really does. And then when we are disconnected and we lose our intentionality, it can get away from us. And that's when it gets sometimes very overwhelming and feels like there's no way out. Just like it took small choices to get there, it's just a small step. You know, it doesn't happen overnight. It really doesn't. My story is very unique in the in the there's something in my personality that's a little bit different. And I've always had it since I was a child. Once I decide something, it's like a light switch.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:11

And I'm just Well, you are a four-six mana manifesting generator, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:11:16

Yeah, I am a Leo.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:19

And you're a Leo. So like that has a huge re I mean, that's that's a huge distinction too. A manifesting generator, don't ever say she can't, nothing. If you put your mind to it, you're gonna do it. That's just how it works. And then you have that four-six line and you're and you're sacral. So like when your body feels that yes, when you're open, like that's that's your permission. That's all you need.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:44

Yeah. Sometimes it manifests within 24 hours of me making that. So in six years, I went from doing cocaine every single day to owning my own successful company, quitting a full-time job, going to my dream vacation. I took myself to Florence, Italy for my 40th and took my daughter. I've traveled to Costa Rica. I've traveled halfway around the United States.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:12

I mean, once once the clarity happens, I mean from survival to living.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:20

It's beautiful. But yeah, that's another invitation. You know, human design is beautiful. I think astrology is beautiful too. But human design for me really gave me, it just bridged astrology. You know, they work so well together. So you have your birth chart and you can look it up, but you can figure out your human design based on your birth chart. And there's so many things that you'll learn about yourself.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:48

So insightful.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:49

So insightful to like really learn your body. Why do I feel closed? Am I am I closed? Am I open? And how do you know how do you need to pause before you make choices? Or can you choose in that moment? You know? I think it's beautiful. Well, thank you so much, Savannah. You are a gift to this, to this earth.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:13

And boom trackalaka. Boom trackalaka. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:21

I love you. I love you.