The Relationship With What Is.

Life is filled with seasons.

• Some bring momentum.
•  Some bring certainty.
•  Some bring joy.

Others bring

•  redirection.
•  Discomfort.
•  Grief.
•  Uncertainty.

In this episode of Relationship to Self Theories, Sirel and Crystal explore the many layers of relationship we have with our experiences and the seasons that shape our lives.

Together, they challenge the idea that growth only happens during the moments that feel good.

Because often, the experiences we resist the most are the ones carrying the greatest wisdom.

This conversation invites listeners to consider a different perspective.

What if redirection is just as valuable as momentum?

What if discomfort is not a sign that something is wrong, but an invitation to pay attention?

What if every season of life is asking for relationship rather than resistance?

As the conversation unfolds, Sirel and Crystal explore the connection between the body, self trust, and the ability to navigate life from inner knowing instead of fear, rejection, or external influence.

Because every experience has something to offer when we are willing to stay present long enough to listen.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:23

I've got my tea and we're live.

SPEAKER_04 0:28

We're alive. We are alive. Kristal. Wow. Feel into that. We're alive. It's such a contrast of living. Do you think the contrast of that is surviving? The contrast of living? Yeah, I believe that it's surviving. I believe that it's disembodiment.

SPEAKER_05 1:03

I believe that there is an epidemic of disembodiment.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

But isn't the true definition of being embodied is just embodying what you are?

SPEAKER_04 1:18

It's it's being in re I believe it's being in relationship with the body.

SPEAKER_02 1:26

So having relationship with your body.

SPEAKER_04 1:34

Okay. And so when you are not in relationship with your body, what are you in relationship with? And I think that this can have different responses for sure. So I really like invite people to feel into that for themselves for sure. I know for me it was being caught up in the mind and being living from like my wounds. And I was just really like doing my damnedest and my best to survive.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

It's interesting how at least what I see is there truly is no longer a midlife crisis. Because crisis is starting as early as. I mean, children are becoming more and more disconnected to themselves at younger and younger ages.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

So yeah, that's an epidemic. Yes. It is. What about just accepting that we have developed in a disconnected way? And that there's another way.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

There's another way. Yeah. Yes. And I love that so much because there's always a way.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

We believe that when we drive. There's always a way around, one way or another. We are relational beings. We are creatures of energy. Yes. Like feel your fucking energy. Feel it. And what's present. Because that will guide you. That will direct you. Every time. That will redirect you. Even more. Seriously. Well, and I I say this all the time because it's definitely something I'm rooted in. But like when when you're not embodied, it it's felt as resistance. And when you are embodied, it's felt as redirection. That's and that's everything.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

That is because your first reference should always be, am I open or am I closed? So I just had a conversation today with a gal. She had texted me a couple days ago letting me know about some heavy things happening within a very strong friendship. And it was pretty heavy because it involved abuse and children and things of that nature. And it was interesting for me because I needed to take the moment to like feel what I was feeling. Because I was taking on that heaviness and it wasn't mine. And so the pattern that I really needed to feel into to ensure that I could be open with it so that I could stay my way through it was anyway, was just to fully feel it. And so what came through for me is my reactive past, the Sorelle that was closed, the Sorelle that was protecting herself, the way she would do that is by overdoing. So had I received this message about another mother facing, you know, hardship in that way, I would have dropped my whole life to help that person. I would have, you know, just put myself in there to take the burden. And so having the couple days to really sit with my feelings, I realized like, whoa. I really took on a lot of people's traumas when I felt into the same kind of trauma. That's what it activated inside of me. And so once I had clarity, I would I loved that I was able to respond from a place of sovereignty where I could I knew what I needed to say. I wasn't second-guessing myself, I wasn't afraid, I didn't feel that it was wrong, you know, it was just very me and it was received, and then it was reciproc reciprocated because then it came up with like a plan of action where we don't absorb what is in ours, you know. It was so beautiful, it was so cool. Because it became the reference point in communication with this other person.

SPEAKER_05 8:12

Thank you for sharing, because that's a true, tangible, recent, you know, reference of the contrast of living from our wounds and living in sovereignty, you know, living in a relationship with who we are.

SPEAKER_04 8:40

And and not apologizing, not defending, not overcompensating, overextending like all these things that we do, and it it depletes us. And then we're operating from that that that energy of depletion. And that is rough. And that's when we're surviving, man, because we're so depleted, but we still we still gotta keep going.

SPEAKER_02 9:19

Yeah, so then people then outsource their energy, right? Because they're depleted, so of course you're gonna need more energy, and then that's when the outsourcing happens, and I have fallen culprit to that 100%. Absolutely. Yeah, but I was very much driven by instant gratification and by temporary relief.

SPEAKER_04 9:48

The quick fix. Well, and it's it's really because we as this essence of who we are, we know what our natural state is, and so we continue to chase it because we know what it is. Where is that bridge, right? And for me, it's the body, right? Like the awareness that reveals itself, the deeper of presence that I am in, or if I deepen my presence, like with focus and intentionality, the awareness that it reveals itself is miraculous. And life is miraculous. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

Creation is miraculous. It's a gift. Relationship to self is the ultimate journey, and it's where it's where you get to experience I feel like heaven on earth, and you have that choice, and you get to decide. And then once you decide, you get to create, and then once you create, you get to experience.

SPEAKER_04 11:18

And the only time you have to do that is right now, and the relationship to self being the ultimate journey is so beautiful, and and for me, it was like I have such an unconditional love for humanity. And I longed to belong.

SPEAKER_05 11:42

I longed to be able to be intimate with my life, with my reality, with my the richness of my of my connections.

SPEAKER_04 11:55

I longed for it. And it is so incredibly fulfilling. And yeah, life organizes around me, around my core vibration. I am the core of my reality. Yep, you are the your own universe. And if that's not magic, I don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Yeah, that's fucking magic. Right at our fingertips. Right there, sister. Human magic. It is. Because humans are fucking powerful creatures.

SPEAKER_04 12:43

Very much so.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

And so, yeah, come just connect to your humanhood, your humanness, like feel into the species that you are, you know, the intelligence, the form, the wisdom. These are all tangible things. Yeah, and how our body just knows it has all the answers. And what I love about that is I am in direct relationship with the energy of my life. I can feel it. I am in reciprocity with I suppose my universe because I am met halfway. And even the redirections, those are my halfway marks too, because they that those redirections just saved me. I don't even know. It saved me time, it saved me energy, it saved me all the things by trusting the redirection just as much as I would trust my anxiety, right? Oh, I love yeah, and it's so fucking cool. So the story about today, Crystal, seriously, like we were interfered by some fucking shit, like literal shit.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

On your hands. Got on your hands while we were taking embodiment photos.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

Like, well, when I go back and I'm on top of the mountain and I'm like reliving this story, I'm thinking about how we may have been blocked multiple times and yet we still followed.

SPEAKER_01 14:36

So it was like the TV just right there in the middle of the alleyway, like in the middle of this big ass TV.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

What? Yeah, on the ground. Nobody see that.

SPEAKER_05 14:54

I don't know. Yeah. But that was so fun in there. It was so fun there.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

It was so fun there. Okay, so we step over the TV. Okay, whatever. We're gonna get through this because it was a freaking cool alley. Like, we wanted to be there. On one side, it had like a vine of plants, and then on the other side, it had a graffiti wall. So, like, what a contrast, right? And so we start taking pictures, and I even say something to Crystal about like, Crystal, I think I smell poop.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

She's like, I was like, really? Poop.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Somehow.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Somehow, okay. So there's one redirection. I mean, the smell of shit definitely didn't scare us away.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

So then, you know, we found this chair because we were about to head towards down the alley. And then we find this red chair. Like, there's another signal. Stop. So we started taking pictures with the chair, and it ended with me. And when it was my turn, I somehow had something on my jeans, which I wiped away, and I saw that it smeared. And then I took a whiff.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

It was definitely shit. You're like shit on my hands. You're you're like literal shit. But we still took the pictures. I was like, I'm gonna have to go wash my hands. The energy's like, all right, we gotta give it to her. They're staying in the trail.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

They are not going in the right direction. Mayday, Mayday, send rescue, send rescue with shit on Sorel's leg.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

I so us. I so us. Okay, so we go inside and I have to wash my hands. And anyway, before that journey, we were trying to look for this heart, this painting of hands that made a heart, and we couldn't find it. And we were definitely going the wrong way. So going inside and washing my hands, we had a very nice, welcoming lady want to help us, and then there was a man who was there, just there, just knew exactly he was 90% sure. No, no, he was a thousand percent sure that it was there, but he wasn't sure. Even though he drove by it every day. Those were his words. I'm 1,000% sure, but I'm not sure, even though I drive by there every single day. I don't even think that's a complete sentence.

SPEAKER_05 18:08

No, but the but the energy was taken in.

SPEAKER_02 18:11

The energy was totally taken, right?

SPEAKER_05 18:14

Yeah. It's like, oh, this guy totally knows what he's talking about in his subconscious.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

In his subconscious, yeah, he knows that it's there.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

Oh, he just started doubting himself because he wasn't connected. But anyway, so then we went on our adventure, and on our way there, we found so many other treasures along the way. Yeah, we did. And then we found the heart. And it was perfect, and it served us in the most magical way. Yeah, so that redirection was brought to you by shit. And so literal shit. Today I was thankful for shit.

SPEAKER_04 18:59

Have so much gratitude for it. That was great. That was so good. That was so good.

SPEAKER_05 19:07

It was good to be redirected. Yeah, I trust the redirection so unequivocally.

SPEAKER_04 19:16

Like I trust it purely. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. It's it's what I call living in divine timing.

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Yeah. The synchronistic grace. And the one thing that I love that you had said to me one time is you said, if you are living in divine timing, then you can never There's no such thing.

SPEAKER_04 19:48

There's no such thing as I know the word, but it's on the a self-destruction. Self-sabotage. Self-sabotage. If you're living in divine timing, how how can there be? Yeah. Because yeah. It's it's true order. Yeah. Yeah. And our essence knows that that is the path of least resistance, that that is the true honoring of our humanness.

SPEAKER_02 20:28

So when you resist even a redirection, then you have to wait for it to come back around if it's not right away. Because you have to be able to receive that redirection. Yeah. So I think I think that's so good.

SPEAKER_04 20:50

It really is. The capacity to receive. And that that is a magical skill, I'll tell you what. It is. And it and make no mistake, it is a skill set. It is a maturity. It is a direct, indirect experience practice. Yeah. Well, I do feel that to get to build capacity. It capacity happens when you stay.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

So when you stay, you're building capacity to hold the experience over and over and over again. Just like building a muscle. You know, just like a stronger cement foundation. So that's that's the reason why we have to know when our body is open and closed. Because when you resist, then you're not staying. You're running, you're blocking, you're holding, you're protecting, you're, you know, you're in a freeze state. And that's not wrong. Your body is actually doing everything that it's supposed to do. It's it's powerful, it's instinctual. However, sometimes it's doing it for something that is not real, it's an experience of the past. Or it's because your mind has you in a timeline that is not right now. You know? So your body's doing what it's supposed to like, where the fuck are we? Are we in the past? Are we in the future? Like I just want to be right here. Bring me back.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

You know, that made yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:44

It I feel like as you speak, as you speak to that, it's like like to like to to take that and tangibly translate that is for me like I know if I'm resisting or if I'm being pulled out of my body, or if I'm activated, or you know, these different things that will create, you know, fight or flight, freeze, and so on and so forth with, you know, the state of our nervous system.

SPEAKER_04 23:19

I orient to my body, meaning I connect to what is present.

SPEAKER_05 23:30

Whether it's anxiety, whether it's tension, whether it's pain, whether it's excitement, whether it's joy, because all of these different emotions are part of the spectrum of being human.

SPEAKER_04 23:57

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:00

Yeah, because it was never about not having emotion. And it was never about the difference between big emotions and small emotions, because there's no such thing. And we all know this an emotion is energy and motion.

SPEAKER_06 24:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 24:17

And if you don't move it, then where the fuck does it go? And this isn't rocket science, like this is biology, this is part of our autonomy, and it's something that you should learn just like you know, if you get a cut, you're gonna bleed, right? What do you do with that? You know what to do. What about the inner, the inner self, which is that energy line. And so connecting to that, right? You're storing all this built-up energy. Well, of course you're gonna fucking explode. Or leak. Or leak. Those are your two options, yeah. Because eventually it's gotta go somewhere. It's gotta come out, it has to move. So I think that's a layer of relationship when a tool that can be used, you know, in those times of emotion, sadness, happiness. Like for some reason, the only time we are trained to move emotion is during happiness, which is why it feels good, which is why it can be received, which is why it's like something everyone still chases. But when it comes to all the other emotions that we were gifted with that are part of our experience, like you said, sadness, anger, you know, grief, worry, those emotions we're told to shove it, block it, ignore it, take a pill for it.

SPEAKER_04 25:51

Well, and our nervous system thinks it needs to protect us from it.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

And then it well, yeah, because that's how we've trained it. So we so we leave our body, we disassociate, we disembody, like and then we chase what's the next thing that's gonna bring me this feeling that I want so badly. Yeah. And it's it's you have it at your fingertips.

SPEAKER_04 26:19

It's it yeah, it's right there. It's right there.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

I love that. Like look in the mirror and just like abracadabra. Yeah, do that.

SPEAKER_04 26:35

Do it, you'll feel it. Do it. Yeah, it's uh it's relationship, you know? Connection is a beautiful thing, but relationship is what sustains connection and we all want connection. But there is there is a continuance of that, and it's it's what creates sustainability. A lot of us, at least for me, I had no idea how to be with myself when an emotion was moving through, when my nervous system was activated, when I would go into fight or flight. I didn't even know what an emotion like just in general what energy and motion felt like in my body. My nervous system would immediately feel a threat. And it's so interesting. Because were you allowed to have emotions as a child? I am highly empathic, so I I think I turned it off myself.

SPEAKER_02 28:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 28:25

I really yeah, I really feel that there is an in there was an entanglement of, you know, not just trauma, but also karma and just just deeper threads of what I really had to come into relationship with. Just asking of you, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Yeah. Yeah. There just wasn't a reference point, like we weren't taught that, you know. Yes. So you definitely do the best that you can absolutely with your reference points.

SPEAKER_04 29:07

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

But I I do invite anyone to like ask yourself that question what is your relationship with yourself, with your body, with your life, with your emotions? And do you know what your body feels like when it's open and closed? Or think when it's saying yes and when it's saying no. Because those are the the first reference points for you to get deeper into you know, relationship with your entire being, with the human that you are. This is like what I call sovereignty. And this is the most beautiful gift of it all because I f I genuinely feel connected in a premium way. Doesn't mean life isn't happening, doesn't mean that you know I'm not experiencing human experiences, especially in this world, the way that it's being developed and in all those ways. You know, there's still a lot.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

Stupid cat.

SPEAKER_04 30:34

Let me go.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

But yeah, it's just yeah, I'm with self and there's no such thing as well, just like we were saying, self-destruction or nothing is happening to me. You know, it's happening for me. And I do have main character energy because no one else is living my life but me.

SPEAKER_04 31:10

Yeah, so what a contrast. It truly is.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

And it's available to everybody. I think that's even the most beautiful thing of it all this isn't just available to the top 3%, or just to like the elites, or just to whatever, the government. You don't have to vote for this shit. You don't have to pay taxes for this shit. Like, you get to just be it. And this is the freedom of earth. This this is it's very free. And there's only one of it. It's very organic.